It sucks. And faking it is too hard, esp when they want to quiz you on a recent WT article. We're all in the same boat, some have had to maintain a facade, and others-myself included- have called fraud and shennanigans on the whole mess and disassociated officially, and as a result have lost our families to their hateful religion. They say it's our choice to have no family, but it isn't, it's their choice to obey human words masquerading as God's words.
We're in a sad place because we miss our parents, friends, sisters, brothers, but it's not a life, what we were as JWs, and we must be true to self because real peace lies in that.